Bullet

On October 5, 2009 we received the news that my Dad, we call him Bullet, had Colon Cancer that had already spread to his Liver.

This was a shock to our family, as none of us had any hint that he had not been feeling well. Something that my Dad did not want us to know. He had not been feeling well for some time. As the family learned of this news we all came together that next weekend to talk with Mom and Dad and put a plan into action.

We all had hopes that a miracle would happen, all the time deep down we knew that it was not good. We tried to pretend it would be okay, and try to keep up good spirits for Dad. Dad loved having all of us together, all his "chicks" in the nest so to speak. He was deeply touched that we all loved and cared for him so much.

Then the next step was surgery on November 6th. This surgery began many days of suffering for my father. He would get better and than worse and it went up and down like this for weeks. One complication after another just made his plan of treatment further and further delayed.

I think my Dad knew the whole time he was not going to get better and he was dying. The cancer was spreading more and more every day. Thanksgiving all the family came to Tennessee to spend what we all felt would be our last holiday with Dad. It was hard to leave to go back to Dallas after that week. I knew deep down that it was highly likely something could happen and I would not see him again. I praise the Lord everyday that my children were able to see their Grandpa Bullet that week and spend a little time with him.

It was December 13th, immediately after Andrea's Nutcraker performance, that I got a call saying that my Dad had been taken by ambulance to the hospital. We awaited to see what was going to happen, the Tuesday morning, his doctors told my mom to gather all the kids together. At that point, Barbara, Ron and myself caught a flight that afternoon and were at the hospital early that evening. I found myself seeing my father in a way I thought I would never see him. He has always been a strong man. All six of us and mom were crammed into this hospital room, trying to make light conversation and jokes to keep us from realizing the seriousness of the situation.I know he knew we were there. It was hard to see him in this condition.

My sister, Barbara, and I found ourselves afraid to leave, the unknowing of what would happen next. We both slept in that room with him that night and I know he knew it. Then all the family gathered next morning at 5:30 am to talk with the oncologist. More bad news. The time was very near, his kidneys were beginning to shut down. After a day of talking and saying our goodbyes. On Dec 16th at 7:25p I heard my dad take his last breath. It was a sound I will never forget, and one I can't explain. I just know that I knew his soul had left his body and he was in no more pain. He was on his way to meet his Heavenly Father. I thank God that I was able to be there when he died. I am so blessed to have had such a loving, caring, father. One thing you always knew was that Dad loved his family. We all had our ups and downs over the years, but no matter what, Dad always loved you.

I have not been posting on my blog much since the beginning of his illness and his death. It has been too painful to talk about at times and too painful to write about. I decided tonight that I would blog about this time in my life in some detail to have as a memory in the future.

I will always appreciate the support and prayers from family and friends. The faith that our family showed during this time was phenomenal. I said earlier that we had hoped for miracle. The miracle we got..knowing that our father is in Heaven and that we will see him one day.


Bullet,we will always love and miss you dearly.